Plush-a-holic's me Dawn from I am a self proclaimed Plush-a-holic soooo (meaning I love to make stuffed creatures and collect other handmade ones)I thought why not name my blog that. So I did. I will be sharing my thoughts, the works of other artists I think are amazing, tidbits about my family and my life and of course Plush creations (Love=Creatures) by myself and those that inspire me.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What we think we become

Our summer went by in the blink of an eye. I was so busy keeping Memphis in touch with her old school chums...running off to the parks...driving back and forth...having many visitors...unpacking...settling in...playing in the kiddie pool...getting ready to start Memphis in a brand new school...making sure Soren got his naps...washing the the house and cleaning it again...decorating our first ever home...
It's a blur of madness and joy. We ended it with a 9th Birthday Party for Ms. Memphis...we rented a bouncy house...because we have a big back yard now...and about 20 of her friends and some of their parents stayed too and wow....I was shell shocked for a few days but it really went well. I seriously can not believe Halloween is right around the corner and that the days are getting shorter. I have also been reading up on Buddhism and finding that it really resonates with me...
which brings me to my next point. Long story short my brother and his wife have exited our lives. Many details left out, my niece left home at 17 to go and live with my cousin and my Ma and Dad helped with money a bit. She could not longer live there. I will not share details and I try not to ever get this personal but it continues on and on. Now my 65 year old mother is stressed out because my niece will be living with her now and going to community college. Her parents refuse to help her at all and I feel lost. He is my only sibling. I do not know how to handle it. So I have decided not to. Occasionally I will return an email and try not to say too much because when I have there is trouble. I am sent religious, specifically Christian emails but get very little other news from said brother/sister-in-law. So I guess the reason I am asking is...I have strong spiritual beliefs but they are not rooted in one religion. I have always tried very hard to be a kind person and when I have wronged someone I have tried to right it.
Lately I am trying to live in the moment. Trying to make all my reactions ones out of love and when I make a mistake I forgive myself for letting my emotions lead me down the wrong path.
I guess it might be time to realize I no longer have a brother as I have been rejected so many times. Oh life...why are you so hard sometimes?
Thank goodness for my own little family...they are my life and I guess that is what I must focus on now. :)


Blogger erika said...

oh dawn. i read this post.
and answered it. and erased it. three times.
the similarities that i recognize are many. and i want to give you some comfort and encouragement.
i will search for the right words.

6:55 PM  
Blogger lookwhaticando said...

thanks...I could use them :)

7:55 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

So sorry that you are going through this and that a supposed Christian is making you feel this way. Remember that a true Christian would never be judgemental, never try to impose their faith on you. A true Christian loves all, serves all. That means they should be there for you in whatever situation you find yourself.
I really hope you reach a level of peace in your heart.

2:36 AM  
Blogger frecklewonder said...

well, first off, it's really nice to hear from you, and get a few peeks into what your sweet family has been up to this summer- i think of you often!!

i can only imagine how stressful and overwhelming all this family stuff might be- it sounds like you are handling things as best as you can. one day at a time- my mom says, you can't eat an elephant in one bite. you start at the tail and you work your way up to the trunk... just a little bit at a time. take care and love on those gorgeous kiddos of yours!!! XOXO

7:09 AM  
Blogger The Lilac Rabbit said...

Sometimes you just can't help your personal life spilling into the parts of life that you publicize. I am in a bad situation with my in-laws and have been since I first got married. It is hard trying to reach out to people only to have my hand slapped at. I hope you find an answer that you can be content with. And, yes, you're doing the best thing by focusing on your family. They are the most important thing right now.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Kristina said...

Hmm...sounds awfull Dawn. I'm sending you lotsa hugs, good thoughts and positive energy ;0)

In Denmark religion is not a part of our lives and I'm always so puzzled by the troubles it bring others. All over the world. For all times.

It's always about finding yourself and your own path. For all of us. And the journey is amazing with its ups and downs. That's living life :)

12:17 AM  

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